in the mean time...

Here's a sneak peak at what I've been working on the last few weeks - some shots from our Holiday catalog shoot. I've pretty much resigned myself to accepting that Christmas will always come two months early for me. Design. Retail. Publishing. I probably won't ever get away from it.

Downsides: stunted Christmas cheer, seeing the underbelly of the holiday as business, "Christmas...that's SO October!"
Upsides: First to know about cool stuff, endless tree decorating, anticipation, hot cocoa...
Serious Upside: More time for Christmas tunes. Yes, no shame, here.

portraits:::chelan

My dear friends were such good sports to let me take their portraits! I had decided before I left for Chelan that I was going to take each persons portrait, with the intent to create shots that were minimal, witty, slightly canned, and ironic - very deadpan. But in return, I was blessed with these pictures - which are much more raw and soulful than I could have ever tried to create on my own. Thinking about it now, I was probably trying to emulate someone's style that I'd seen and liked somewhere - I guess maybe I needed to just get it out of my system so that I could move on to the good stuff. I don't know, but I do know that these are only the beginning... {ie. what folks in the industry like to call..."the tip of the iceburg."}

Well, I have been frantically trying to finish up editing the photos from this weekend away - there are some real gems! - and will have them up on my flikr page shortly, but I couldn't resist sharing a sneak peak.

full circle

I'm having one of those moments. You know the kind. Where your old self meets your current self and you realize either that everything has changed or, like in my case, certain things still linger. Deep passions and desires have just been lying dormant all these years - except that now you feel like you might be in a place to pursue them. Finally go for it.

A couple of weeks ago I was at the Oasis/Ryan Adams concert and they played "Don't Look Back in Anger" and it was like I was literally transported back to being fifteen, sitting on my deck or in my big chair writing the very same lyrics in my journal. The journal I had just begun. And here I was, finally seeing this band live - at 26 - far removed from the feelings that originally had stirred me, but I can't say it still didn't move me in a similar way. I do remember it meaning so much back then. That and other songs were like anthems, speaking exactly what my heart wanted, but couldn't say.

It made me feel a little homesick for that person - the Leah of fifteen - bright-eyed, hopeful, dramatic, anything was possible and yet wondering all the while when was it all going to start. Aside from the awkward teenage thing, there seemed to be an idealism, maybe even a little mystic about me. Standing there listening to Oasis, reminded me too, that back then I was mad for the Beatles (Man, I loved that band!), I was kind of a theater snob/geek, Broadway musical obsessed, and loved all things Britain. I kinda miss her and wonder if I can reclaim the pieces that matter.

So all this to say that when I went back this morning to the journal where I had written those lyrics, I was shocked and blessed to find myself come full circle. Lately, in addition to producing more artwork and photography I have been thinking a lot more about writing. Ideas and scenarios keep bubbling up that are begging me to write them. Where it will lead, I'm not quite sure, but I'm amazed at how God works in a different part of our lives, maybe even for the specific purpose of impacting the future.


So here's what I wrote back in August 1997...

"I finished reading " the Fling" and it really got me inspired to write. Cause the main character is a writer. But I just don't want to start writing something and have it end up like all the other uninteresting sappy stories I've attempted. Which usually end up going the teenage romance route, which is....NOT what I want to write. "Write what you know." Well, I certainly do not know romance and so that is out of the picture. But what I do know is so boring, it's not even worth writing about. And I'm not really into fantasy or fairy tales, so I need to find something in between. And I'm deciding whether I should write christian or secular...? But what I noticed is that there aren't really any cool christian books. Sure there's Christy Miller and Sierra Jenson, or even Palisades [these are christian teen romance novels], but those just make life so cliche, so predictable and unbelievable. What we need is for someone, like me, to write some kick ass book for cool un-Christy-Miller-Like girls.

But about what, though...Hmmmm....

'So, Sally can wait
she knows it's too late
As we're walking on by
Her soul slides away,
but don't look back in anger
I heard you say' -Oasis

I have to wait and let the ideas come to me. Oh...how I hate waiting."


And it's true - I needed to wait, not just for ideas, but for life experience. For God to transform my heart and mind and life in ways I couldn't comprehend then. To realize that I can't separate my faith from the work I do. Why do we have this need to separate between christian and secular, anyway? And to realize that while I still may not have a clue about romance, another romance novel is NOT what woman need. They need the ultimate romance novel (as cheesy as that may sound). Come on, we all want that one - the one that's real. Exhilarating. Satisfying. The one that is not fiction, but playing out right in front of our eyes. I have to remind myself this often - that God is a pursuer. He gave me an inkling so long ago that he hasn't yet let me lose completely, for one reason or another. He's bringing me back around to the point where I started - will I be brave and follow his lead? Will I write?

Looks like it.

a bit of bounty

Last weekend, my sister let me take a bit of bounty from the garden she planted with her three friends. I got some broccoli and an onion. Lots of basil for pesto and I snuck a few apples from one of the trees. But it was the dill and a few plums that really had me inspired! The next day I was eager to photograph them.

Looking at the pictures now, especially the one above, I can't help but feel like dill is kind of a lonely herb. The last kid picked for the team. Forgotten. Maybe I relate to it a little in that way. Or maybe it's just how I shot it - isolated and in a little pile - but I can't help but feel like I want to cheer it up. Let it know that it has always been my favorite herb. And I'm not just saying that! {I had a bit of a panic when I lived in Brooklyn and couldn't find it anywhere. For days I wondered whether tuna would ever be the same....or....potatoes, oh potatoes. I know I wasn't looking very hard, but ultimately I discovered Whole Foods and things eventually returned to normal. But Oh! did I cherish that bottle of dill! }

I would also let it know that like any perfect food it's smell has the power to take me back in time to meals my grandmother made. Lovely Norwegian food - simple (always with potatoes!), unpretentious, satisfying, and always colored with a bit of dill. Plus, I always feel like I'm being a good Norwegian every time I shake a little dill on my food. Like I'm doing my part. Expressing a little Norge pride.

These plums take me back as well - to the same chef, my Beste - they had plum trees outside their home in Seattle and they would inevitably have more than they bargained for. Thankfully, she would use them to make this wonderful plum sauce/pudding/compote, similar to applesauce but with plums. Pour a little cream over it while it was hot and you were in business! So good. I'll try to find the recipe and post in here in the future.

I guess when it's all said and done, in the process of taking these photos I realized that it wasn't a coincidence that I happened to choose these foods to photograph. Both are deeply tied to memories of my grandmother's Norwegian cooking - recipes I know she has only in her head. Recipes and memories I would love to learn from her, maybe even write them down, photograph the process. So that if I am ever a mother, they too, can have similar memories tied to dill...and plums.

welcome to spain, baby!

Lately I've been craving a road trip. Travel. The open road.

Finishing Don Miller's book, Through Painted Deserts last week only confirmed it that much more. He said something that has been rattling around my brain for the last few weeks:

"We get one story, you and I, and one story alone. God has established the elements, the setting, and the climax and the resolution. It would be a crime not to venture out, wouldn't it?
It might be time for you to go. It might be time to change, to shine out.
I want to repeat one word for you:
Leave.
Roll the word around on your tongue for a bit. It is a beautiful word, isn't it? So strong and forceful, the way you have always wanted to be. And you will not be alone. You have never been alone. Don't worry. Everything will still be here when you get back. It is you who will have changed." (from the author's note)

And I guess that's what I'm wanting right now. The type of change that only comes with experiencing new places. New sights, smells, tastes...allowing yourself to be the stranger - opening yourself up to the unfamiliar, unaware of where you are going and even more unaware of who you will be on the other side of it. I've told myself I want to be braver. Take more risks. And travel just seems like an exhilarating way of doing it. Plus, I find driving relaxes me. You make a good mixed tape (yes, still), pop it in, hit the road - perfect time to think, pray, listen, sing obnoxiously loud, and ultimately get away from the common, the everyday.

Unfortunately, with a gallon of gas costing the same as a trip to starbucks(!) and my 1989 Ford Tempo flashing lights on the dash that I have never seen before - reading about the road from the likes of Kerouac, Guevera, and Pirsig will have to suffice, for now.

That is...until October, when the new PBS series, Spain...On the Road again. premieres! Mario Batali, Gwyneth Paltrow, Mark Bittman, and Claudia Bassols - it's a foodie/travel/realitytv junky's dream! Whatever your opinions of Batali - sausage fingers and crocs aside - he's put together what looks like a really fun and beautiful show. I especially love seeing the "real" relaxed and playful side of all of these personalities - Gwyneth shortens words like I do! ("Batals!?!"). Take a look at the trailer - if each show is half as fun as this trailer (sing it Willie!), I might be able to stave off the travel bug a little longer, living vicariously through their adventures road tripping around Spain.
I say, ¡tráigalo en!

my thoughts exactly...

" I do this with good things; I think joy into its coffin; I analyze too much.
I don't want to think about life anymore; I just want to live life."

DONALD MILLER
from Through Painted Deserts (19)

alphabet soup

In an effort to express and explore my growing love and interest in food photography I have decided to start shooting foods - one letter at a time! So far I have three. Check my future progress here.

{p.s. There is quite a mixed bag of food photography out there (some amazing, some booooring) - my current inspirations come from Matt Armendariz, Laurie Frankel, Béatrice Peltre, Heidi Swanson, and of course Mr. Bello. Take looksee - but maybe when your belly is full.}

a little work pride...

I'm like a proud mama today cause my Husky Football postcard came in the mail! I'm super jazzed about it cause I've wanted to shoot images like this for a campaign for a long time. Who knew football apparel could look and feel so soulful? Booyah!

eureka!

The best part about unpacking after a big move is discovering things you thought you had lost forever. Almost a year ago, I realized that my little digital camera (the one I take everywhere and use for ideas and inspiration) wasn't charging anymore. Blasted cheap camera! Procrastination lead to more procrastination, but when I finally managed to special order the battery and pick it up, I had lost the camera itself! Sadness swept over me and I couldn't help but think about it every time I was around town with something amazing right in front of me and not able to capture it.

When packing up to move to my new house, I found it - in the most embarrassingly obvious place, of course - and was excited to pop the new battery in and start shooting again. But nothing happened. Bagh! Again, sadness swept over me. Thankfully my papa is smarter than me, otherwise I never would have been reminded to.....charge the battery! Charged and ready I couldn't help but capture my excitement (see below).

The photos above are only a selection of the goods that were Rip Van Winking on my camera over the last year - you can find more of them here.

"Creativity is not the finding of a thing, but the making
something out of it after it is found."
JAMES RUSSELL LOWELL (1819 - 1891)

it's not you | it's me

He's been with me - by my side - since I was in highschool. We met. We fell in love. He surprised me day after day and lead me to one of my passions. But recently he's kind of been letting me down. I try again and again - thinking, maybe this time will be different. But no. It might never be the same again. We might......(sigh)....have to break up soon.

I am speaking of my Sears "Practically a Pentax" SLR camera. It was originally my dad's, who let me "borrow" it for my first photography class in highschool. I remember going to my first class thinking, "What if this becomes something I fall in love with?" And I did and since then I have claimed the camera as my own. It followed me to college, shot all of my work, and even my senior exhibition. All this time people were telling me to switch over to digital, but like the cell phone craze, I told myself I would try to hold out as long as possible - Sears would carry me through.

But the last four rolls have been terrible. Nothing is crisp, it's blurry and unfocused in weird places, terrible colors. Sometimes there are double. I have a feeling light is creeping in from somewhere. These photos are probably the best of the bunch, cause they have a great polaroid-sixties-blurry quality to them. Don't worry, I'll keep Sears, he'll always have a place in my heart, but it might be time to say hello to....Nikon.

{I do love this photo of my brother - I will miss him when he's gone out to sea. Adventures await him! And a recent great purchase - Tab and a 25 cent piece of fancy italian cheese from Metro Market. Probably one of the funnest times I've ever had with the Sailor at the grocery store. Again - deep deep belly laughs. Who knew the grocery store could be so fun!?!}

a few good tomatoes...

{Photo Styling} It's one of those things that has slowly been creeping up on me. Standing behind me. Looking over my shoulder. Waiting quietly. Breathing....heavily. So I tried a few things out.

thursday in pictures.

Let's say I lost my ability to speak - I would probably use these photos to describe my day today. This photo (above left) of stripes from A Cup Of Joe made me instantly happy and covetous of those socks! Any photo by Roland Bello (above right) shows me what photography can be - oh! the richness of his colors and the simplicity of his styling.

This photo (above) from ffffound - MADE the day. Deep deep belly laughs. And so as not to convince you that I spend all my time just looking around the internet at photos - my own work today was delightful in it's own way. These brave c0-workers - even in comp photos I'm not even going to use in the real design - showed me a thing or two about why I love being a photographer. Behind the athletic gear (they would never be caught dead wearing, otherwise!), there is always personality, feeling, and a soul to capture. Thanks guys!

But if you had to sum up what I feel today - thursday, the day before Friday the 13th {eeek!} - it would have to be this picture - that stares back at me from my desktop - Corey Arnold's beautiful work. Gives me goosebumps and makes me smile. Simultaneously.

my fair city...

and so it begins...

rough hewn [adj] 1. to hew (timber, stone, etc.) roughly or without
smoothing or finishing. 2. to shape roughly; give crude form to.

I have come to see that I am a maker of rough, unfinished art. I am a thinker of rough and unfinished thoughts. And I, myself, am rough and unfinished - daily being hewn by a maker that woos and stirs my soul and who ultimately is the inspirer of my work. So, in this new blogging adventure I have aptly named Rough Hewn, I share with you not only my completed work, but more importantly the sketchy, instantaneous, unfinished, and in-process bits {because those are the most interesting parts anyway, right?!?} - all of my questions, collaborations, and inspirations.


Here we go!
Time to rough it!